Fair to Middlin’

Every once in a while Mom would bust out a Southern saying that we had never heard. She would say it nonchalantly and the kids would look at her quizzically at which point she would claim to have always used this saying (She also did this with children’s songs. Please ask Megan for her rendition of “Under the Spreading Chestnut Tree” that I promise you we did not hear until high school). But I loved that Mom would put on her southern drawl for phrases like “haven’t seen her in a coon’s age”, “big for yer britches”, and “them’s fightin’ words”.

This week I’ve been thinking how so many things in this life become “podunk” when you think about being in heaven with “bigger fish to fry”. This is a list of all the things Mom doesn’t care about anymore:

-She doesn’t have to be careful about saying something that will hurt her friends’ feelings.
-She doesn’t have to bother with changing the radio station 19 times because there is nothing good on.
-Late-night television isn’t mildly funny and mostly gross and make her feel like a midnight prayer time is necessary before sleeping peacefully.
-She doesn’t have to smell a filthy mystery smell coming out of the refrigerator.
-One and a half glasses of wine don’t make her too fuzzy to do the productive things she meant to do in the evening.
-She doesn’t have to think about her body getting older every day.
-She doesn’t have to deliberate over social events and guilty feelings for non-attendance.
-Dirty jokes don’t make her laugh on the outside and cringe on the inside.
-She doesn’t lie awake with regrets.
-She doesn’t need to clean her apartment in order to think coherently.
-She doesn’t have to balance a checkbook or pay a credit card bill.
-Professors don’t bother her by attaching a minus mark to a perfectly good letter A.
-She doesn’t have to worry about boys and future marriage or nonmarriage.

OK, those last line items haven’t been on her list of worries for 30 solid years. So maybe you are wondering who this list is really about. Maybe me.

But seriously, I am bored with books I used to love because she is reading better ones…hearing better songs…writing better words…loving bigger…worshiping sweeter.

Don’t misunderstand me, life is “fair to middlin” but tonight, I am so jealous.

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4 thoughts on “Fair to Middlin’

  1. Jean says:

    xxxxOOOO dear Erin!

  2. Scott Keen says:

    Ya’all come back, y’hear! We’ll leave the porch light on for ya, and see you in two shakes of a lamb’s tail. Bye now!

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