I started packing up the apartment. I don’t want to do last minute packing. This means that I have boxes sitting in each room with flaps open, waiting to be last minute re-packed. As one friend pointed out, the box of text books can’t be nudged across the floor, much less carried upstairs. I also realized I needed that spatula I packed.
After an afternoon of pointlessly looking at a half-packed apartment, I went on a walk with Ruth Part II in the earbuds. This is a fantastic sermon series by a guy I admire greatly. This is the part of the Old Testament story where a foreign and poverty-stricken Ruth gets special protection and provision in the fields of the elder but awesome Boaz. The sermon differentiates luck from the providence of a sovereign and GOOD God.
Lately, I have been hard-pressed between the truth that something terribly sad has happened and that God is still terribly good. I have been experiencing moments when life feels unreal. Do you know the feeling of too-much cold medicine? Get that feeling in your mind right now. Now, shake someone’s hand for the first time at a party and all of the sudden realize they don’t know the “real” you. This is the weird partial-you. The real me has a Mom that will get all the low-down details on the people and the decorations and the dresses. When I think about this, I start to feel like I am floating away. I need something to hold onto.
So, I will hold onto the most terribly sad and the most terribly good thing that has ever happened. The cross. Jesus didn’t screw up or not pray hard enough. But he still died and it was excruciating. And he overcame this world. This is why we have hope and it is the anchor for my soul. Hebrews 6:19-20. The cross tells me that God loves me big time when my circumstances scream otherwise.
The Ruth sermon illustrates a trusting woman and a generous man who follow this sovereign and GOOD God. I walked to the park and lay in the grass looking at a bright blue sky and imagining Old Testament weather, smells, and feelings. And maybe praying for a Boaz to come along and carry all my half-packed boxes away. If you are floating away today, grab that anchor and look at those blue skies.