Try again tomorrow.

This morning I listened to a man talk about hope when life hurts the most. He called suffering the megaphone of our faith. It was beautiful and I was inspired to live large and courageously. Also to write a beautiful blog entry.

This is not it.

After I was inspired, I cried a lot. And then I needed to reapply all of my make-up and pull together a last minute going-away lunch for a friend. It was a surprise and surprises are really fun but also involve lying and conniving and general brainy deception to make sure 20 friends don’t tell 1 friend the secret. It worked and I was minimally bossy and crabby. Then I went and got a pedicure, courtesy of Roommate Erin’s mom (this was a treat since my budget strategy for the rest of the semester is simply: don’t buy it).  The pedicure worked too. It looks like a party on my toes. Then I worked on a clinical project for three hours but got frustrated and quit and went to a romantic comedy that made me cry a lot which was silly because Mom would not want to be compared to Julianne Moore, especially in the part she played tonight but it made sense to cry at the time. But it was night time so I didn’t have to reapply all of my make-up. I could just go home and get ready for bed.

So, this is not a beautiful and inspired blog entry. This is one of the days that I was not super brave. I’m okay with that for one day. I’m not okay with that for life. So, if you didn’t reapply your make-up today, it’s ok. We can try again tomorrow.



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6 thoughts on “Try again tomorrow.

  1. Hi Erin,

    I am so very glad that we got to see you, your Mom and Dad on our visit to HI. I hope you can sense the love and prayers that are being sent your way from us and the many people who love you and your family. Your list of 54 items about your Mom give us quite a challenge to live up to!! She was a very special lady and I was privileged to call her friend. Hugs!! Brenda

  2. Eiko says:

    EB – You are a beautiful, insightful, courageous woman. I wish I’d taken more opportunities to turn around in my seat and get to know you better. I pray that your strength and faith will continue to support you throughout the remainder of grad school, your grieving, your growing, and your sharing with others. I look forward to the great work that I know you will accomplish.

  3. Deitra Shoemaker says:

    Was that man Louie Giglio? He preached that at our church a while back and it was an amazing message. Erin, you are living life as your precious Mom would want you to, i know you miss her more than words can say. I love that your blog is about being brave. That is what life is about.

  4. Lindsey says:

    Yep. Have cried my makeup off right along with you recently – mostly today, for whatever reason. Probably because I was in a public setting (church) and surrounded by lots of people so that the crying could be sufficiently awkward. Something I read got me missing your mama last night but I held it together. Apparently that was so all the really teary (and, yes, snotty) crying could be saved for worship. Gotta love when that happens. Also gotta love coming home from church to a post like this on my favorite blog. Have yet to re-apply makeup but am now completely inspired to do so. Love you . . . tons.

  5. Nicole says:

    I saw a card the other day that reminded me of you, “She loved life, and it loved her right back”

  6. Tyla says:

    Sometimes just getting through the day is being brave. Especially when it’s done with minimal crabbiness. We would all do well to remember that.

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