Craig and his List

Last week I took off on trusty Hawaiian Airlines for Oahu. I had three days worth of appointments and apartment searching to do before a group of friends from church spent a relaxing weekend at some beach cabins in Waianae.

I arrived at around 7:00 am since I am cheap and my boyfriend picked me up on time with Starbucks steaming since he is awesome. We had a great early breakfast at Wailana’s coffeehouse where I scoured Craigslist on both of our iphones over another cup of coffee. I was on the hunt. I made a dozen calls and looked at a few places. Nothing worked out but I was still putting my trust in Craigslist. It’s always worked before.

We went on a hike to the Makapuu Lighthouse Lookout. I’ve done very few hikes on Oahu so I was glad to build my hiking resume. I received a callback about a studio apartment while enjoying a panoramic view of the rugged Waimanalo coastline. I am glad the view was so incredible because a “studio apartment” is not a “studio apartment” when it is actually a two car garage and you share the bathroom with the fifty-year-old landlord man. But I told Craigslist it was okay. I’m still into you.

Andy is an avid hiker. I'm grateful for that.

Over the next two days, I reunited with a close childhood friend that is interviewing for medical school, attended a going-away dinner, met with a state senator about Hawaii healthcare, had a job interview, met with several professors, and ate escargot for the first time in my life (it tastes like garlic butter and is delicious). And all the while I was Craigslisting. Well, I put the List away for the Senator but I think I snuck a peak during the escargot.

Here are some of Craig’s funniest offerings:
A lady that swore she knew me since my name was Erin. Yep.
A woman who wanted a grand a month for what I am fairly certain used to be her kids’ playhouse in the backyard.
A man that told me he couldn’t afford to patch the holes in the wall but the place was still worth two grand.
I didn’t bother talking to the individual who posted “serious inquiries only, I don’t have any time to waste.”
A nice landlady that told me her neighbors would be watching me while she was away. To make sure no one spent the night for free. Because she charges.
Several people that either did not speak English or told me they had no idea why their number was on Craigslist.
And let’s not forget the garage with the timeshare toilet.

I won’t even list the gobs of apartments in my price range that I rejected out of hand for safety, hygiene, and pure pickiness reasons. Or the apartments that I would gladly live in once I win the lottery. By the time I arrived at the Waianae cabins, I was not on speaking terms with Craig or his List.

Seven of us shared two beautifully appointed beach cabins thanks to some handy military connections. I had my very own air-conditioned room with a nice closet and began to wonder if I could just claim squatters’ rights and be done with the List forever. The beach was steps away and we grilled out, played cards, went to sleep to crashing waves, and woke to stand-up paddlers in the misty waters. But it’s too far from town so I decided not to claim my cabin.

Hammocks and sunsets.

Now, I am back in Kona and still close to breaking up with Craigslist but we are getting along by spending less time together. Because he’s not in charge anyway. My good God has a good plan and will show me in his good time.

In the meantime, we have decorated for Christmas as of tonight. And it’s perfect. I’ll never break up with Christmas.