Health Snob

So as I have mentioned before, the Aussie and I have jumped on the Crossfit bandwagon. Our new crew of fit friends are taking part in a 9-week “Look Better Naked Challenge”. While we won’t be getting naked, we will be taking before and after (mostly-clothed) photos and setting fitness goals. This includes eating Paleo for nine weeks. Cringe. Up to this point we have been resisting the Paleo plunge. Most definitely Non-Paleo. NP for short. Don’t get me wrong, the food is good and we love the idea of going healthy. It’s just the snobbery of fads that I can’t stand…but it’s so alluring… I start doing something that I find cool, and feel the inner snob start to come out. It’s happened before. I just can’t keep up with what I am supposed to be snobby about!

Elementary School: “Oooh, you eat American cheese and white bread? With cheetos? AND a Squeeze-It drink? With Twinkies for dessert? My mom packs me peanut butter and jelly on BROWN bread, sometimes with  raw veggies. And snack crackers and Capri-Sun. And Sweet-Spots for dessert. But that’s ok. You can still come to my birthday party…and maybe bring some of those twinkies.

Middle School: “Ooooh, you eat McDonalds Big Macs and Li-Hing Mui powdered gummi worms? I eat Wendy’s Quarter Pounders, SO much fresher. And PLAIN gummi worms. Let’s go get dropped off at the movies.”

High School: “Ooooh, you eat anything? I eat air. And sometimes ice. I’m so full today from my celery stick. Let’s go for a run.”

College: “Ooooh, you eat hot meals and fresh vegetables? I’ve totally been living on Cheez-Its and Stagg Chili. Isn’t it so fun to be super poor college kids? Let’s go shopping at American Eagle!”

Five years ago: “Ooooh, you eat meat? I guess that’s good for people who are big-boned. Have you tried this tofurkey? It’s Ah-mazing.”

Last year: “Ooooh, you know that’s not actually organic right? You might want to grow it yourself to be sure. Can’t ever trust that USDA stamp. Let’s go churn some butter.”

Now: “Oooooh, you’re NP? That’s ok. Let’s go lift something.”

Being healthy is GOOD. Being snobby is BAD. I have definitely been guilty of both.

Thankfully, we have found a Crossfit with very un-snobby Paleolyths so maybe my inner snob will stay reined in. Our challenge begins in a week. We have been easing ourselves into it but have this loaf of incredibly delicious bread and this stick of really yummy butter that just needs to be taken care of. So, this morning I made the best toast of my life, smothered in the Aussie’s favorite spread: Orange Marmalade. Now, I have never been a marmalade fan. Some fourth grade snack experience involving a Paddington Bear skit and saltines with marmalade ruined it for me a while back. However, there is something about someone else’s extreme enjoyment of something that makes you give something a second try. I have fallen hard for Marmalade. I can’t believe I convinced Roger to buy the cheaper brand. Because if there is something that could improve the orange heaven sitting on this slice of bread, I would gladly spend another dollar to find out about it.

I hope you all have a healthy, unsnobby day. Encourage someone who needs it!

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6 thoughts on “Health Snob

  1. Megan says:

    I can’t wait to hear all about it. I’ve been dabblling with Paleo for a few months now, but haven’t fully made the plunge. My goal is to do somewhere between 2 and 4 weeks full paleo next year.

    Check out the book Practical Paleo by Dianne Sanfillipo, it’s fab. Also, i love the podcasts: Everyday Paleo and Balanced Bites. Good luck!

  2. Sarah C says:

    This is hilarious. And sadly … so true (I think I did a lot of eating air in high school). My parents tell me I’m a food snob (my dad tells people I eat “twigs and sticks,”) but I really think it’s just because I make them actually think about what they’re eating. I just discovered in my late 20s/early 30s how much better I feel and how much more my body responds to my workouts when I eat REAL food!

    • eb does life says:

      Yes, my twin sister and I spent way too much time reading calorie labels in high school! We are now enjoying feeling 100 times better by eating real food and acting like real people! And late twenties-early thirties are the best years yet 🙂 Like your blog as well!

  3. I don’t believe in doing any sort of fad dieting, including Paleo. Interested to see how it works for you though. Keep us updated!

    – K.

    • eb does life says:

      I hear you! It will be a fun 9 weeks with hopefully some new habits. My Aussie husband can’t go too long without some meat pies though, complete with golden delicious totally non-paleo crust.

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