Tag Archives: Engagement

Vanquish the Normal


A brief word on when to be normal and when to not.

In nursing school and now in nurse practitioner school, it is emphasized to us, the eager and teachable students, that we must know the normal to identify the abnormal. We need to know what a normal sinus rhythm sounds like in a typical heart to identify the murmurs, the irregular beat, the extra sounds. I need to know the ranges of electrolytes to know that a potassium level of 1.0 is probably a pretty bad thing and I should look at a whole bunch of healthy ears so that a bulging membrane looks different from all the rest. We gotta know the norms to know the abnorms otherwise we could catch ourselves looking at a very sick patient with crazy blood tests, nodding and saying “Mmm hmm…looks good.”

In marriage, I have decided that I need to know the norms so that I can be anything but normal. Roger and I have received a veritable plethora of wise wedding words, kind counsel, and sometimes simply been on the confused receiving end of a knowing married nod in our direction. The last one is a move that seems to say either “Get ready, this is awesome” or “You think this is going to be awesome? I know better.” We haven’t quite figured out which one so we just nod back in engaged bliss. Amid all the suggestions and comments, we most appreciate the words that include a knowledge of God’s sovereignty and the uniqueness of each couple.

We know that there are struggles that all men and all women deal with but we are also determined to meet these struggles with our unique gifts and personalities. We are determined not to agree with the statement that “Women are just like that” and “Boys will be boys” when it is applied to a weakness that we want to improve. If it is referring to the way that women cry at inopportune times such as every day last week or the way that men enjoy shooting small to large rodents in the Kona area, then we agree.¬† Otherwise, we are determined to be abnormal.

Adam and Eve and their official punishments, along with males and females throughout history show us that there are similarities in men across the board and there are shared tendencies in women in general. But the rest of Scripture also points to our unique standing before God and the consistent call that we have to rise up, go forward, conquer, overcome. We are called to bravely do what is difficult. We are called to vanquish the normal.

So, know your norms…and then attack them. Push through them. We are called to abnormalcy and it is possible. And I see that nod. And I am nodding back in engaged bliss.

 

 

 

Tagged , , , , , , ,

Register…as what?


When Roger and I became engaged, we were very happy. I think we were happy for the same basic reasons: we had found the spouse of our dreams. We were going to start a life together. We were going to live together. Things like that. But I believe we also had some secondary reasons for bliss that were unique to each of us. I think Roger’s secondary reasons included visions of me in fishing waders reeling in a catch just like he taught me.

Glorious.

Or other similar camping scenarios. I’m cool with that. But the fourth or fifth thought that I had after engagement was, “We get to REGISTER.”

Now, I am not an extremely materialistic person and, believe it or not, I’m not a shopaholic either. I freeze up with too many choices (remember? Click here.) But for the past two years I have had a growing urge to set up house. I have set up a couple apartments but have always resisted making them TOO homey because I didn’t want to collect too much stuff. As it is, I have a storage unit half full of stuff that I found at garage sales and on the side of the road. Hey, they still work with a coat of paint. I used to tell my friends that I was going to register for grown-up household goods for my 30th birthday. I’m not sure if I was joking so I am SO glad I don’t have to follow through with that. Roger’s response to the whole registry business was classic.

“We have to register? As what?”

After explaining that we did not have to go on an American Master List of Engaged Couples, I asked if the registry was a thing in Australia. Apparently it is. And that is when I realized that there will be things that I assume “aren’t Australian traditions” when in actuality, it’s just not a Roger tradition. It will be fun through the years to see how this unfolds. This reminds me of the famous Entree Conversation.

Entree

Roger: Girl that I’ve only dated a week and want to impress, Brent wants to have us over to eat some fish he caught.
Erin: Okay, man that I am so nervous around that I can’t quite look in the face yet, is there enough fish for four?
Roger: Well, we can eat the fish as an entree and something else for the main dish.
Erin: Now I can look you in the face because you said something very silly. Entrees ARE main dishes.
Roger: No, girl that I am still trying to impress, you are being silly. “Entree” means “to enter”, it is the starter.
Erin: In my family, we settle this kind of thing with a dictionary.
Roger: Yikes.
Erin: “Entree: Definition #1 Main course to a meal.” Something smug.
Roger: Ok, is there a definition #2?
Erin: Oh. Yes. “In a fancy meal, entree is an appetizer or starter.”
Roger: (Smiles devastatingly handsome smirk)
Erin: But it was definition number TWO.
Roger: Yes, in the American Heritage Dictionary.
(Dispute settled.)

Now that we have been engaged for three weeks, we are older and wiser and don’t have knowy-pants disputes like that anymore. No, really.

So last night we walked the aisles of Target with a Powerful Ray Gun.¬† And Roger decided he does like registering. He only had a few brief Boy Moments in which he used outer-space voices and aimed the gun at several unpurchasable humans but I chalked that up to male nerves and reassured myself with the fact that at least he wasn’t running in circles bonking his head and yelling like younger versions of his gender do when confronted with something completely new and slightly overwhelming. Like linens. Plus, he’s fun and I started the Ray Gun game anyway.

We are having a small wedding in Waimea. The registry is not the most important thing. The important thing is that I am marrying the best human I have ever met and if he knew everything about dinner settings and thread counts, I would be worried. Thank you Jesus for a man with patience and an excellent sense of humor. He’ll need it with a knowy-pants like me.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

Very Engaging


We had our engagement photos taken in Waimea by our friend Eric Franke. He is very clever and talented and this is is website. I am extremely self-conscious in front of the camera and so these are a few in which I look the least awkward. Mostly because my face is not showing in a lot of them. Roger, on the other hand, looked fantastic in every single one.

We had a great time taking these.



Tagged , , , ,